I know what you’re thinking: that Tom Hanks probably had his publicist or a Nobel Prize winner pen today’s literate ode in The New York Times to his makeup artist of 19 years Dan Striepeke on the eve of his retirement. Probably 99% of the time you’d be right about actors who byline something in a newspaper, but this time you’re wrong. I’m told by NYT sources that Hanks did indeed write it himself. In addition to being a great actor, great family man, and great guy, he’s also a really good writer, according to people close to him. Now you have my permission to hate Hanks because he’s so much better than all of us. And also for the fact that his new movie, the Da Vinci Code, is tracking huge, according to the numbers which Sony Pictures just received. (Like, duh.) Meanwhile, I’m told Hanks’ agency CAA congratulated the studio on the great tracking early this AM, prompting Sony to ponder, How the hell did CAA know it the same time as we knew it. No doubt, that will be the subject of a sequel.

Editor-in-Chief Nikki Finke - tip her here.