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Those Letterman scribes are at it again.
From co-head writer Eric Stangel comes this "strike perspective" to illustrate how the world has changed since the strike started on November 5th:
"…A gallon of gasoline was just $3.13.
…Britney Spears did not speak with an unusual fake British accent.
…There was no such thing as Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Pinsky.
…Dennis Kucinich still thought he had a chance to win the Presidency… or even a Primary.
…Jessica Simpson was just an airhead, not an airhead bad luck charm for the Dallas Cowboys.
…I was not friends with Justine Bateman.
…Jamie Lynn Spears was considered “The Normal One”.
…We all thought Hulk Hogan and his wife Linda had the perfect marriage.
…There were no mysterious deaths which had anything to do with Mary-Kate Olsen.
We were so innocent then. If only we knew then what we know now (Justine, call me)."
And Late Show writer (and strike captain) Bill Scheft has come up with a "new streamlined process" to move the WGA-mogul talks along. "Not only are the solutions creative, but scientific. Very simply, if Nikki Finke's phlegm turns green, the deal is a go. Brown, it's el paso." Here's Scheft's complete color chart.
Nikki Finke Phlegm Color Proposed Deal
Green Go (or Good)
Brown Shitty (or Bad)
Yellow Proceed with caution
White Strike ends Memorial Day Weekend
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how cool! letterman?!?! congratulations!
thank you for working so hard so we can all stay in the know. it’s been invaluable.
go white phlegm!!
-magdalena
Actually, Nikki, the phlegm solution is accurate and elegant.
I was about to suggest bleeding you with leeches….
So, Nikki…
What color is your phlegm?
Funny, you don’t look phlegmish.
HAHA! Hilarious!
Be Green! Be Green! *fingers crossed*
Wait, they forgot one:
…Dave and Craig were regularly beaten in the ratings by Leno and Conan
Hmm. Some things never change, even with the “advantages” of full writing staffs and A-List guests. It’s fun to go back and look at all the angry posts from December in which you all were going to “punish” Jay and Conan. How’d that work out for you?
Ewwww! Lets hope your green lasts only long enough to end the strike, then you instantly go White. Brown, thats just gross.
You just ruined my breakfast. Okay, you’re ill. Can we accept that as a given and move along?
Yecch.
Note to Letterman writers:
For the love of God, please cut out that horrible CHP bit.
Thanks in advance.
Glad the Letterman writers are having so much fun as they collect their weekly paychecks…Those traitors. I’ve got some phlegm for them.
Disgusting, but funny!
This strike is dividing writers. Some want to strike until they get exactly what they want (which they never will). Then, there are others who are over it and hate the writers who are being so selfish. I am not a writer, and I hate the writers who are wanting this strike to go on indefinitely. You are holding us all hostage. You are ruining our lives. We don’t care about your residuals and your future. We are losing our homes! And, the Industry Support Fund isn’t doing a damn thing!
Wow, the shills even attack a comedy post.
What a life.
Nikki, does this mean you can’t take Musinex until this is over?
You’re a trooper.
UK WROTE: “We don’t care about your residuals and your future. We are losing our homes!”
hey uk – you want us to worry about you while you fully admit you could care less about us???
wow.
I’m getting really sick and tired of people whining about how their lives are being ruined. I’m not in the industry, but whenever MY home was threatened by lack of funds, I got a job. Sometimes a second, or a third job, but out I went to find employment to make sure my family was taken care of.
I didn’t whine that other people were ruining my life.
Take responsibility for yourselves! If this is the wrong industry for you to be in, then make a change! Otherwise, just shut up!
uk wrote, “This strike is dividing writers.”
No doubt there are dissenting opinions among the writers. And while I’m reluctant to paint every opposing view as that of an AMPTP shill, you scream shill.
But for every time I hear someone question WGA resolve, or that they’re breaking, I have to laugh.
I’m not a writer, but I’m friends with several writers (at various levels). And I have many friends who are friends with writers.
None of them, among all the degrees of separation, have indicated there’s any truth to this. In fact, so many have said they’re impressed, even shocked by the writers’ resolve, the strong spirit on the picket lines.
I can’t help but think the AMPTP has gotten the same sense.
gross.
Leno and Conan suck.
Note to One Time Sitcom Writer:
I can’t echo your comment enough!
If I’m watching it live, I mute the sound now!
That bit may be the single worst, totally lacking in humor bit Dave has done since he went on the late night air!
And he keeps reusing the same “radio transmission” every few days!
Whoever thought this was funny needs a humor transplant!
If we’re lucky, Len Easton will be killed by a runaway truck on the Grapevine!
Saying Leno is better than Dave based on ratings is like saying Kenny G is better than Tony Bennett. Writers or no, Leno will always “win” because Americans are dopes.
Hey Flasky – nobody said Jay was better than Dave. The point is that the WGA (or at least the members who posted on here) thought that giving WWP a waiver would elevate Dave to number one in late night and somehow bring bring Jeff Zucker to his knees when all it really did was let a dozen well paid writers return to work while everyone else was left out in the cold. Divide and conquer, you all called it and that’s exactly what it did. You played favorites and it didn’t work. Dave didn’t become a nightly cheerleader for the guild and the public (your beloved American dopes) turned out in higher numbers than usual to watch fresh, writer-less versions of Leno, Conan, Stewart and Colbert instead of the same old thing from Dave and Craig. In the end the WWP waiver will cost writers jobs because network bosses will look at the numbers and ask why they should employ a dozen writers when the shows without writers did just as well or better. They will hire writers but they will hire fewer writers.
I’m not a flack or a shill. Do you exist in such a tunnel that you think that anyone who has an differing opinion from yours must be a paid shill for the other side?
Yeah, Americans are dopes when they watch someone you dislike but incredibly savvy when they like something you like.
I agree that the Late Show could be better “cheerleaders” for the guild. They were given a unique opportunity to keep the WGA’s stance in the public eye night after night. And other than a few scattered WGA bits in a Top Ten list, or an occasional appearance by Bill Scheft identifying himself as a Strike Captain, it’s been business as usual over on Dave’s show. Actually, with bits like the CHP phone call, it’s sadly been missing the mark quite frequently.
However, Bombastic Bushkin, I would not call Jay Leno’s show “fresh.” Jay has done everything he can to keep the Tonight Show as predictable as ever – right down to his clearly written monologue. And I have a very difficult time believing Jay is writing a ten minute monologue five days a week all by himself.
Red colored phlegm swirling in the water while you are being devoured by the very sharks you created with your vile site.