This email circulating around Hollywood was sent by a DreamWorks floater. Last names have been deleted to protect the Semitic-challenged:
Sent: Wednesday, September 24, 2008 5:09 PM
Subject: RE: SWP Mtg. Kristi w/ Kristin and MatthewHey Ryan-
I’m sorry, b/c I’m covering for Lindsey’s usual asst., could you tell me, who’s Rosh Hashanah and why would he/she affect Kristi’s meeting with K and M?
Thanks! I really appreciate it!
Michelle






Wow. Wait until Lindsey’s lunch meeting with that Yom Kippur guy. He never eats. And then that 8 day retreat with Han Nukah. Gotta love Hollywood.
Well, a big HAPPY NEW YEAR to Michelle!
Hey, if you don’t know something you ask and find out. She did. How many times on Ash Wednesday am I asked what that dirt is on my forehead? countless.
TO: Michelle
FROM:Legal
cc: SS/JK/DG
Please stop by Yom Kippur’s office for a more detailed explaination ASAP
I am appalled that you would remove Michelle’s last name yet still leave Mr/Ms Hashanahs on your post. Watch out you may get a cease a desist from attorney Yom Kippur.
Hellloooooo, Shiksa!
You get what you pay for.
Yeah and who’s this Yom guy? Last name Kippur? He seems to be interfering with business as well.
A dark day for Apple Temps to be sure.
I had to fire my assistant Chris Tmas cause he took too much time off last decemeber
That’s effffffffing hilarious! Ahhhhh…sweet youth, tomorrow Micheele will be probably the head of the studio, or at least a VP at Fox.
Oy vey!
Holy Jewish Holiday. Don’t they give new employees some sort of test for this stuff?
Wow. Ever heard of Google?
As someone who grew up in a town (in a county) with a Jewish population of zero, I can imagine this happening to a newbie assistant. As funny as it is, I don’t think it is indicative of the average “Hollywood Gentile” nor do I think it is in anyway newsworthy. I only read it because I thought it was a memo from the Alaskan Governor’s office.
This has got to be under the too good to be true category….
My agent sent Mr. Rosh Hashanah a script of mine two months ago and he still hasn’t read it! I just called my agent and said, “screw him! if he won’t read it maybe we should send it to Ms. Yom Kippur, instead?”
Oh my God. Being legitimately Jewish, I’m shocked that she wouldn’t know. It’s Hollywood, after all, and everyone becomes Jewish on Jewish holidays.
Ms. Finke,
This is Mr. Hashanah and I just wanted to note my displeasure at seeing my personal meeting with Kristin & Matthew made public on your blog.
Do you have no decency?
Rosh
ooops
It doesn’t get much kookier than that!
Gotta be a joke…please let this be a joke.
Absolutely priceless!
Please, please, please post whatever Ryan’s reply to Michelle was. I’d love to see it!
Watch Us Explode
Reads like an urban myth. Is this 4 realz?
Yeah okay, I believe that…