VIDEO: Tom Cruise Does Dave’s Top 10: “Craziest Things People Say About Me”

COMMENTS (20)

• How America can stay mad at Tom Cruise is beyond me.

  Comment by Tennyson E. Stead — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 10:39am PST  Reply to this post

• I’d be impressed if Cruise had at least said even a tiny joke about Scientology, because THAT’S what gets the most buzz online regarding this guy. Just another PR move to polish up the ol’ image.

  Comment by Irving Thalberg's Ghost — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 10:49am PST  Reply to this post

• Every joke on this list was lame – worse yet, sanitized. It’s so obvious that Cruise’s people made it clear to Dave’s people that no jokes about Scientology were permitted. Cruise’s act is old and no one is interested anymore. Valkyrie will flop. Much like that of his ex-wife, Nicole Kidman, Cruise’s career is over.

  Comment by joshreader — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 11:56am PST  Reply to this post

• “What’s Heimliched?” is all I’ll remember about this.

  Comment by troyS — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 12:01pm PST  Reply to this post

• Tom, Tom, Tom, You are adorable. I don’t know how to tell you that I won’t be seeing your movie since I don’t think you can handle the role. But good luck to you, you lovable nut.

  Comment by JD — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 12:22pm PST  Reply to this post

• Cruise is back baby!

  He’s a movie star.

  Comment by A reasonable person — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 12:23pm PST  Reply to this post

• Like him or hate him, at least he has a sense of humor. That said, not one of these were at all funny. Leno at 1000pm will just have to do.

  Comment by MTM — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 12:53pm PST  Reply to this post

• After seeing this I no longer wonder why he doesn’t do live theater. The man can’t read…nor act

  Comment by TSL — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 1:02pm PST  Reply to this post

• 10. I have Paula Wagner select my bride from a pool of B-list female celebrities under the premise that marrying me will help their career.

  Comment by Internet — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 1:30pm PST  Reply to this post

• Whatever drug Tom Cruise is on, I want it.

  Comment by Brandon — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 1:56pm PST  Reply to this post

• Cruise is a total pro and, whatever anyone thinks of his personal beliefs, the fact is that, whenever he decides to make a movie, a thousand people have jobs. Give me one working Tom Cruise over twenty producers sucking on the Development teat any day.

  Comment by Buddy Bing — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 2:25pm PST  Reply to this post

• The Vicks Vaporub line was funny, and an indirect shot at Scientology. The rest, admittedly, was pretty sanitized/lame…

  Comment by Bob — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 3:14pm PST  Reply to this post

• Though Cruise is a little crazy, I have nothing against the guy. Typically I enjoy his performances and films as a whole.

  But it doesn’t get any funnier than the still of him in German uniform, with the eye patch and plane in the background. The whole idea of him in this role, in unaccented English, is all-time comedy.

  Comment by Cruisin' — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 5:01pm PST  Reply to this post

• Letterman is a wimp.

  Comment by Matt — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 5:58pm PST  Reply to this post

• Great show Dave! And apropos of almost nothing, here’s hoping 2009 is the year the gods of Hollywood finally end Jimmy Kimmel’s preposterous run as luckiest motherfucker ever to grace a TV screen! Zero talent, zero ratings, irrelevant show … GO GO GO!!!

  Comment by GilARTS — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 6:39pm PST  Reply to this post

• Tom Cruise is a giant creep. At least he has screen presence.

  Comment by Joshua Goldstein — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 6:59pm PST  Reply to this post

• RIP David Letterman
  fakes it so real its beyond fake

  Comment by drtv — Wednesday December 17, 2008 @ 9:33pm PST  Reply to this post

• LMAO! I think I love me some Tom again.

  Comment by Jay — Friday December 19, 2008 @ 3:45pm PST  Reply to this post

• If only the setup could have been longer.

  Comment by MildApplause — Friday December 19, 2008 @ 10:16pm PST  Reply to this post

• Wow, Tom looks great! unbeleivable!

  Comment by steven doo — Sunday December 21, 2008 @ 3:06pm PST  Reply to this post