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UPDATES Rights To ‘Terminator’ Franchise For Sale
An Open Letter to the Terminator Owners. From a Very Important Hollywood Mogul
Dear Sirs/Ma’ams,
I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where ‘hood’ was capitalized ’cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the ‘grapevine’ that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.
No, you didn’t miscount. That’s four — FOUR! — zeroes after that one. That’s to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here’s what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don’t ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture — and my pretend play — as any I can think of. It’s far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:
1) Terminator… of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far… back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? “Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!” RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he’s a cyborg and he doesn’t give a s#&% about the ring — it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he’s doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).
2) More Glau. Hey. There’s a reason they’re called “Summer” movies.
3) Can you say… musical? Well don’t. Even I know that’s an awful idea.
4) Christian Bale’s John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)
5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there’s a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar — and dollar signs!
6) The movies will stop getting less cool.
Okay. There’s more — this brain don’t quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) — but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I’d like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including “Song of Norway” (no current franchise offer).
Sincerely, Joss Whedon.
Editor-in-Chief Nikki Finke - tip her here.
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$11,000 here. Going, going…
Joss Whedon’s “Terminator” would be awesome. I kind of wish there was some studio, some financing entity, some “something” behind Whedon’s push to make it a reality. I’d been kind of half-laughing at the idea of the value of the “Terminator” license, but if anyone in Hollywood would do a re-launch justice, well, it’s a guy like Whedon.
I don’t care who gets it, as long as it isn’t Michael Bay.
Hell, let Uwe Boll have it.
Bay would at least do a half decent job than most, and far better than Whedon. Remember McG was claiming T4 would be the big summer movie? FOX should get Cameron the rights and go with him. Though I’m sure he’s past this.
Mommy – is there really a T4 ?
Sorry are you just an idiot. Bay better than Whedon?? I can’t even begin to tell you where you’re wrong there.
We’ll just leave it on Bay is a moron who wouldn’t know how to make a good movie even if a transformer personally delivered him the best script ever devised
Bay better than Whedon?
Yeah, you’re an idiot.
Bay would just make more explosions and such.. at least whedon would have a good story to go along with the awesome action..
Hell, let Merchant-Ivory have it.
Can you imagine a Merchant-Ivory Terminator movie? A Room With a View … of the Apocalypse.
I’d rather have Song of Norway.
that sounds sincere.
(love the lozenge)
A Terminator franchise with a supremely talented writer/mastermind at the helm? That’d never work… Guy can’t even fly under Nikki Finke’s radar.
Get that man to a typewriter and get out of the way! That’s your winning bid, hands down!
‘hahaha’/sarcasm. It’s obvious every terminator project post-Cameron has been very mediocre, but that doesn’t mean that terminator 1+2 are not 100x more significant than anything joss whedon will ever put together. plus, if anyone looks at the way warfare tech is going (e.g. drones, e.g. unmanned and increasingly autonomous weapons systems), it is not hard to see that the first two pictures and even the other film/tv/videogame projects end up being conversant with present day war/tech paradigm shifts in a way that garbage like ‘dollhouse’ isn’t.
Of course, even this tongue-in-cheek letter is 1000000x more significant than anything creative you’ll ever do.
Sour grapes make for great vinegar. Give Heinz a call, you could make them a deal.
That’s quite the lame put down Luzid…you must be one of Joss Whedon’s writers.
It’s okay, Little Mike. Let me dry your tear-stained cheeks. Now tell me: how did Joss Whedon hurt you?
In case you have forgotten, Joss Whedon wrote the original Oscar nominated screenplay (the only writer of the first draft, not the final product) for Toy Story which is one of the most significant films of the last 25 years. Not only the first fully computer animated film, but a good film on its own merits and launched Pixar as a movie powerhouse with a nearly flawless record. I would argue that it was more significant than any Terminator movie.
Now, I love T1 & T2, with T2 the better movie, but T1 having the better time travel scenario. I’ve never seen Dollhouse, T3 or T4, so I cannot comment on those.
Actually, he co-wrote it with like 5 other people. Maybe he was the genius behind it, I don’t know.
i don’t dislike joss whedon, but admittedly not his biggest fan. i respect his niche and all, but this is pretty tacky. while it’s all well and good to criticize the most recent owners of the rights, this still seems to jab at t1 and t2, and that can’t fly. if he’s knocking sarah connor chronicles and the most recent mcg garbage that’s all gravy, but t1 and t2 is better than any buffy episode.
Um..he’s not knocking t:scc at all – he’s a huge fan of that show. Actually I think if you asked him privately he’d probably tell you that he would have preferred terminator getting a renewal over dollhouse. Maybe if you did your homework you’d know that. Are you blindly making statements about t1/t2 being better then buffy too? Or have you actually seen the genius of that show and are just too dumb to realize it?
I think you’re underestimating the power of the Buffy series. Maybe for those people over the age of twenty when it aired it was just another vampire show, but for some of us it was a coming of age drama about the fragility of the human existence. I’m also a big terminator fan and attempting to compare the two tales is just ludicrous. It’s apples and oranges people, so stop with the my producers dick is bigger than your producers dick already!
In no way is he dispraging T1 or T2. He worships those films, as he makes pretty clear in this letter. Reading comprehension, people.
Mike, with respect, I think you are reading *way* too much into Whedon’s comments. Of course he loves T1 & T2. How could he not? Why would he even bother to try to buy the franchise if he hated the movies so much? His sarcasm is clearly aimed at the post-James Cameron projects.
And if you were talking about the people behind “Charmed” or “Andromeda,” I would say, yes, T1 & T2 are 100x more significant. But the man behind “Buffy” and “Angel”? Now that’s an important pedigree. Have a friend show you some hand-picked great episodes. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
As for me, I’m all for Summer Glau making a comeback. Bring on the hottest Terminator on the planet!
Genius. I usually don’t dig a lot of Mr.Whedon’s stuff, but this is clever, hilarious and charming. They should just give him the rights and let him rescue the franchise from the depths of mediocrity the last two movies dragged it into. For free, as a penalty.
Gotta give Whedon some credit. At least he’s offering what it’s worth.
Sony won’t be able to say that.
Makes perfect sense. Start with a concept you know has a good chance of being cancelled, so you don’t have to slog through seasons and seasons of an enjoyable show. You had trouble there with some of your early series, but now you’re getting the hang of it.
Let me know when he offers for the Twilight Saga. Maybe we can watch Felicia Day stake some melodramatic glittery vamps.
Never! He would never stoop to a story as low brown and poorly written as that.
Or even “a story as lowbrow and poorly written as that.”
I can see it now: Twilight: THE MUSICAL!!!
Dayum, I might even see that.
That would possibly be the best thing ever. Felicia Day staking those “vampires”.
Hurrah, I’m not the only one who wanted to watch a Whedon Twilight!
I’ll throw a hundred bucks onto Mr. Whedon’s offer and sweeten the pot, bringing the bid to an epic $10100! That’s twenty in binary! How can you say no to that?
In all seriousness, with the possible exception of James Cameron, no one on Earth is more qualified to reinvigorate the beloved Terminator franchise than
The MasterJoss Whedon. As an unrepentantly obsessive Terminator fan (google my name along with either “Terminator” or “endoskeleton” and the results will speak for themselves) as well as a fan of everything that Whedon has ever done, touched, or looked at funny (yes, that includes the original “Buffy” movie), putting Whedon and Terminator together would, IMHO, be cinematic nirvana. I honestly can’t conceive of a movie that I’d want to see more than a Terminator flick with Joss at the helm. I know that Joss’ financial offer is tongue-in-cheek, but I sincerely hope that whoever ends up with the rights to The Terminator gives serious consideration to bringing Whedon on board with any future Terminator projects, be they TV, movies, or even comics.And, no joke, I really would happily sell a kidney to help make it happen.
Joss forgot to mention the possibility of crossing over with The Passion of the Christ. MadTv already did the trailer for that one
(YouTube link at the signature)
I love this business
Also, of course, there can be >i> Terminator: Avatar’s Resurrection , which continues the adventures of cybernetic Marcus, played by Sam Worthington… who re-awakens on a strange planet, and…
… no, wait, we already have done that.
Seriously, though. This and the last couple of casting choices show definitely a potential to do ALL franchises together.
As we all know Pavel Chekov was caught in a time experiment that thrust him from Star Trek: Back To The Future into the wastelands of 21st century Earth, where he – without the possibility to return to his own time – lived under the name Kyle Reese and became the father of none other than Batman…
(I so totally wanted Christian Bale to answer the question of “Who are you?” with “I’m Batman” in T4. “You thought I was John Connor, didn’t you? Well, I am Bruce F**CKING Wayne!”)
…while in a different part of the galaxy Lt. Uhura found herself in the body of a native alien lifeform that…
… in the meantime, Kirk’s daddy, finding himself in Valhalla after his unfortunate demise is being told by none other than Hannibal Lecter that he is the God of Thunder, but hell, who is going to believe Hannibal, eh?
YOU’RE AMAZING
Oh dear God, please let them take the cheque.
Hilarious, regardless of how much sincerity is here on Joss’s part. If he’s just pointing out that the Terminator franchise has and could continue to do very well as a business, point made. If he’s commenting on how much further the storyline can go, I concede that a good writer could take this quite far. And if his is a serious offer, I’m sure that I and every other fanboy and fangirl would thrill to see it happen.
But again, funny no matter what.
Oh, good lord, No! ‘Dollhouse’ sucks. And a ‘Terminator’ movie with his verbose-geek style would massively suck.
As an attempt at humor this is painfully lame and unfunny…My advice to Josh: spend more time writing for your show “Dollhouse” and maybe it won’t suck as bad as it does…or did they cancel that one already?
It’s “Joss” not “Josh” there smarty pants.
It’s Joss, you fucking idiot. Not Josh.
Dude. How can you give advice if you can’t even spell his name correctly. Jeez.
Poor trolling attempt. To get the Whedon fans ACTUALLY riled up, you must also disrespect Firefly and Buffy.
Seriously, try harder. I’m a Whedon Fanatic, and that comment made my eyes roll.
No! Do not give this man free publicity!
But there is no reason not to sell him this franchise. Just look at what he did with Alien 4.
Okay. That’s not a very nice thing to say about someone beloved of so many. Especially me.
But let’s face it. This man could take over pretty much any licensed property and we’d all sit around with baited breath, waiting to see if his backers actually got out of his way long enough to let him be Joss Whedon.
(He might be required to say nice things about Fox, but *I’m* not.)
To be fair. Joss Whedon’s version of Alien 4 was never created. He dropped out after writing the first draft when the producers and directors changed basically everything and made a mockery of his ideas.
We saw what happened last time that happened, Buffy the Vampire Slayer the film was made. When Joss finally got back in control, the series was made and a severe difference in quality could be observed by all
Now *that* is funny.
A while back I reached out and asked the (3 or so) lonely souls who had nothing to do but chase Dollhouse through it’s scheduling game of hide-and-seek, why they bothered tuning in. What I got were close to 500 testimonials of multi-paragraph, well thought-out discourses on the need for existential quests in scripted TV. Unsurprisingly, the #1 reason listed for watching was (you guessed it) Joss Whedon. The man can write. He can spin a tale. He can make a grocery list that punches your insides and causes you to bawl your eyes out when he butchers the carrots.
I doubt that the Terminator owners will be so brave as to hand him the keys to their franchise. Then someone might notice dialogue, plot, or character development, and that takes precious attention away from the big explosions.
Nonetheless, if you want to see how the world ends or what happens in a dystopian future, there’s another little show that is currently dying a slow death of network neglect. It lacks robots, but hey, it has dolls! It’s on some Friday or other (but not this coming one, try December).
I know for certain that there are AT LEAST six Dollhouse fans. They include me and my dog.
“I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.”
Viola! LOL. Tres drolle monsieur Whedon. Voila!
Psst, it’s Drôle , btw