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EXCLUSIVE: A Darren Star-produced dramedy has become a hot property with three networks vying for it. I hear ABC, NBC and CBS are all after Good Christian Bitches, which will be written by Steel Magnolias and The First Wives Club scribe Robert Harling. Based on the book of the same name by Kim Gatlin, the project, referred to by some as “Desperate Housewives in Dallas,” centers on Amanda Vaughn, a recently divorced mother of two who, to get a fresh start, moves back to the affluent Dallas neighborhood where she grew where she finds herself in the whirling midst of salacious gossip, Botox, and fraud. Harling, Star and Aaron Kaplan are executive producing. Harling has been mostly focused on features, with the exception of a 1990 Steel Magnolias CBS pilot he wrote based on his play and the movie, which he also penned. On broadcast TV, Star, creator of Sex and the City, Beverly Hills, 90210 and Melrose Place, most recently executive produced the ABC dramedy Cashmere Mafia.
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Maybe Paul Lee or Nina Tassler or Gaspin will pick up that other show “Muslim Bitches” that is set in Detroit. A woman returns to her Detroit neighborhood and gets caught up in the salacious gossip of her father’s Halal grocery store and the Imam’s Jihad. Things take a turn for the worse when her sister also returns only to discover that her father wants her dead and that he will soon hire someone to perform an honor killing. Think Chris Martin’s “Four Lions” except set here in America. Wait. Nevermind. I forgot Christians are the only ones that are fair play right now.
Chauncy
Great idea, Chauncy, seriously. I’m reminded of that inspired sitcom premise that sold five or six years ago called ‘The Cell’. About an Islamic terrorist sleeper cell in America whose members actually begin to fall in love with America and everything American. Great idea, probably would’ve been a hit. Can’t you just picture Aziz Ansari killing as the lead? Stillborn, however, as the networks wouldn’t touch it with a three foot hooka.
The idea of a western-value tainted Muslim woman returning to Detroit only to be caught in the crossfire of the local Imam and her father’s plans to honor kill her sister is genius black comedy. Would that it could be set up somewhere.
The Cell was a BRILLIANT script.
Unless they want to build a church on private property, then everyone protests about ‘sensitivity’ and insist they really DO respect freedom of reli– Oh wait, wrong faith.
Is a mosque really a church or a convenient place to make suicide vests?
Please! That crap is getting old. Try being Muslum in America these days where people are buring down your places of worship.
It’s a book, not an attack on Christians as a whole. If you have a problem, take it up with the author of the book.
Are you kidding? Google “Church burned”.
And trying being a muslim in America when your brothers tape cell phones to bottles, send luggage on a plane they are not on, and get arrested. It’s just so unfair!
If you read the koran, the sheer insanity of this 7th century code of misogynistic barbarism becomes crystal clear:
-The books are placed not in chronological order, but by the length of the chapters.
-Followers of the mentally unbalanced, purportedly epileptic but defined pedophile who started this insanity are told it is the will of their alleged god allah that they lie to those who do not submit to islam. This pillar of this demonic belief system is called ‘taqiyyah’.
-What intrinsic weakness must a faith have to mandate its followers KILL anyone who chooses to leave the belief system?
-How orwellian must it be for women to be murdered by their male relatives under the false guise of ‘honor killings’?
-What sort of ‘god’ promises eternal carnal ecstasy with 72 ‘virgins’ for dying while killing those who refuse to worship said demonic ‘god’?
-What kind of religion makes it OK for old men to ‘marry’ 9 year old girls?
-What kind of religion requires a woman to have 4 males testify they witnessed her resisting her rapist in order to convict a man of rape?
Try this thought experiment. Suppose a tribe of aztecs suddenly came up from some subterranean tunnel in Mexico – still living within the culture of human sacrifice to Quetzlcoatl. Under the current politically correct, moral relativism blindness demanded by the pseudointellectual elitists telling us all how to live our lives, we’d be unable to object to the Aztec practice of human sacrifice.
Islam does not mean ‘peace’. It means ‘submission’. Don’t waste your time listening to the Bloombergs of the world who call you a bigot for daring to challenge their proclaimed pseudo-truths. Read the koran for yourself. Study the history of the brutal evil that defines the spread of this satanic death cult.
If they were burning Muslim places of whorship, in America, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS and most of the news papers would be running stories on 24/7. It would give TIME magazine a real reason to ask if America is a racist country. Give us facts Jimmy.
The truth remains: it okay to bash Christian.
Very good. I couldn’t have said it better.
Even as a secularist, I find this title kind of tasteless. But I won’t call for anyone’s head because of it .
Thanks for pointing out the spreading double standard in terms of who can and cannot be satirized in American culture. Once upon a time, we had something called free speech. That period is clearly in its twilight. Enjoy it while it lasts folks.
And I still wish I could see that censored South Park episode…
Tell that to all the Muslims getting screamed at, stabbed, and having all of their equipment burned here in America. If all Christians have to deal with is a “Desperate Housewives” knockoff, I think they are doing pretty well.
In 2009 there were 1912 reported hate crimes against Jews.
In 2009 there were 712 reported hate crimes against whites.
In 2009 there were 515 reported hate crimes against blacks.
In 2009 there were 106 reported hate crimes against Muslims.
More silly facts that get in the way of the Liberal agenda. Silly Liberals, facts are for the rest of us.
Links to these numbers would be good, for starters.
Funny how you Rethuglicans can never back up your “arguments.”
Pathetic.
the book called “stupid liberal whores” is a much better read
The correct term is: Brain-Dead Liberal Whores. Thank you.
Nice post in the middle of a Muslim hate crusade going on across America right now.
Now you’ve done your part too my little christian warrior/blogger.
And you are wrong, it’s the christians in this country that do the persecuting not the other way around.
Ask Dr. Tiller.
Lytton,
It’s a bit hard for someone to be “christian warrior/blogger” when they are not. I was simply trying to point out the double standard — it’s okay to bash Christians but Muslims are off limits. Its absurd to me. The media would be up in arms if something was being done about the Jewish race (off which I am) as well.
You should try to get a copy of “Four Lions.” You’ll laugh your ass off.
The best thing one of the nets could do is buy the Canadian sitcom “Little Mosque On The Prairie” and put it on the air here.
Your comment clearly shows that you are a bigot. So therefore anyone you know must be a bigot.
This is how you are applying logic to your “all Christians” persecute or kill…
Please go to church and ask for forgiveness.
The person who shot Dr. Tiller was not displaying true Christianity! No Christian that advocates hatred or persecution is a true Christian! You are always going to have so-called Christians that will twist God’s Word for their own evil justifications! calling yourself a Christian doesn’t make you a Christian… Hear that Obama?
Chauncey, did you hear about that recently declassified WWII memo from British intelligence which detailed an RAF run-in with a massive UFO? They even got a picture of it. When Winston Churchill saw the photo he immediately ordered that it be classified top secret because he felt that a revelation of that magnitude would cause people to lose faith in the church and society to devolve into chaos. Do you realize what that means? Winston Churchill…a major world leader…essentially admits in writing that major world religions are BUNK and merely tools to control the masses, something the commies have been saying for years. As Homer Simpson would say…”DOH!” But keep those tithes a’coming because Pat Robertson needs a new car.
So your position is that religions are fantasy…but the UFOs are valid. Ooooookay.
ABC is going to need a suitable replacement for Desperate Housewives which is now going into it’s 7th season.
Desperate Housewives still gets good ratings (especially when DVR is included), so I’m sure an 8th season is inevitable. And that would be a good time to launch this show with DH’s final season as a lead in.
Don’t know about the name flying on TV though. Also NBC needs to stop trying, because they don’t know how to market a show to a female audience. Look at what happened to Lipstick Jungle. It was shuffled all around, had no real lead in, and was canceled. Granted it wasn’t perfect, but it could have had potential.
“Desperate Housewives” was desperate two years ago. There’re NO Sunday (Fall Season) big hits anymore so anything that fills a slot for tired (or hung-over) people has a shot.
But if you’re thinking that teaming two female driven shows is a success plan for ABC, I disagree.
I think they need something different between the two hours (9/10pm).
While audiences like a good soap opera, I’m not sure they’ll be too wild about the title. On a book it’s one thing, on TV every week is another thing.
I’ll bet the networks will be wanting alternates before making a final deal.
@FuriousD –
perhaps a name change to “Good Christian Vajayjays”.
Oh, forget Christian, forget Muslim, religion isn’t the biggest problem with this project. It is the idea that Darren Starr can do anything that is interesting, fun, amusing or intriguing.
When does it get past good but had some bad breaks, and we can admit that they milked their one idea until dry?
Christian Bitches, Mother Fucker, and Three Inches. Now if the content of these shows turns out to be crap, does anybody think that a more adventuresome title will keep people watching? Is there a little kid running around at these pitch meetings yelling “Mother Fucker, Mother Fucker”,- and then some exec says ” Hay!., Wait a minute! ” Titles can make some difference though, George Lucas thought about calling “Return of The Jedi” “REVENGE of…. ” Makes a difference in my mind.
Is it possible for a show to jump the shark before it even airs? If so, this one just might be it.
Let’s see…alternate titles.
How about :
Good Cracker Bitches
(Hey, I’m white – I can suggest that ! LOL)
or…
Goody Two-Shoes Bitches
or…
Fallen Angels
That title is beyond offensive.
Of your choices–
Fallen Angels is kinda growing on me.
Of your “B” choices–
I dislike the “b” word and how its use was the “in” thing on TV last season. Make no mistake, this word is offensive too (as a woman, I can say that). Last season NBC had characters on at least 5 shows who said the “b” word when referring to a woman (once it was even said by a tween boy). Of the 5 shows, 2 were canceled and the other one was riding the fence for a long while. Now that’s one trend that I hope continues.
Christians make themselves fairplay I bet a Muslim didn’t come up with this great I am made for tv plot — Christian Bitches yep right on point.
How about: “Mean, Faggot, Bitches”. Since Darren is gay that should be okay, right?
Imagine a show called “Good Islamic Bitches.”
Yeah, you can’t. I wonder why.
Whoever gets this– Work on the title = Job 1.
Yet another retarded reason to bash and hate Christians in general. It really shows how low, pathetic and desperate Hollywood has become.
Rob, you must be a fine and sensitive Christian to use the slur “retarded” as a substitute for stupid. Nice one. Do you still use the N-word too?
This is one of those things that convince me that some people lay awake nights thinking up new ways to insult and demean Christians. There’s no way on Earth they’d do this to Muslims, or Hindus, or Jews, no sir. But it’s always open season on Christians. Fire away.
Title really really sucks. Call it “American Piety” or “Hail, Mary” or “The Golden Rule Girls”. Anything but something so nasty. It’s offensive to anyone who respects religious freedom & women.
I’m an atheist & I’m offended.
I doubt I will care at all about this show. But the religious fanatics going nuts over the name will be hilarious.
Why is it religious fanatics…
Let’s see let call the show “Chris’ Mother is a Bitch and Perhaps Chris is too.”
Hopefully you aren’t a lunatic fanatic that would get upset over your mother being insulted… It is just a show name right?
That’s how you make a successful TV show. . .
Piss off 3/4′s of your audience even before you have one.
Air it, lose money & watch that network sink that much quicker. I won’t mind seeing that at all.
tD
You seem to know an awful lot of terminology of Islamic words. Is that a requisite of modern judgmental Christianity?
Good One!!!!
Being Educated = Judgmental Christianity
Who knew?
It will not be called Good Christian Bitches (it’s not HBO) Titles can change.. w/Darren Star –like him or hate him, he’s had BIG hits in the genre–and Harling– master of female ensemble repartee– in the mix…not exactly a huge leap to develop a script..ABC has the most compatible programming by far but it’ll be whoever guarantees the pilot. Still most likely winner=ABC.
I am waiting for Good Liberal Bitches – where she finds herself in the whirling midst of mooching, eating bon-bons, waiting for her next WIC check, and medicare fraud
And I still can’t get an agent/manager/whatever to even read me?
What was I thinking, writing fresh, original, clever, smart and actually funny material. Maybe I should whip-out ‘Awesome Jewish Bastards.’ Or ‘Great Hindu Sluts.’ How about ‘Really Good Black Desperate Cougar Hoes.’
Would any of those be dumbed-down enough to get someone to just read my f**king stuff? I promise to include lots of generic characters, all kinds of fart humor, and a minimum of 3 gay characters who say Oh My God at least 12 times per episode.
Ugh.
And people in Hollywood can’t figure out why audiences are leaving in droves…I’ve never seen an industry so hellbent on self-destruction.
You sir are a liar. Haven’t you heard of the American auto industry?
A liar? How kind of you to grant that he’s just not ignorant! Is Hollywood also forced to make products that have to borderline defy the laws of thermodynamics, too?
Truest comment yet!
In this business people always gravitate toward anything that seems to bash Christianity. And then they realize they can’t put it on because they make their money off Christians.
This show will never see the light of day– at least not with that title.
Just more proof that the Christians run Hollywood
Hey wait, where’s the vampires? And will there be gratuitous nudity? Seriously though, religion asside, where’s the diversity league on this one? How comical — upper white crust women…let’s get some diversity writers on board! Hahahah…welcome to Hollywood!
Cashmere Mafia was the single most insipid and unwatchable pilot in the history of television
@doc: “The single most insipid and unwatchable pilot in the history of television??” Uh..a bit hyperbolic, there doc? What happened–you didn’t get staffed this season and you’re bittah? sheesh. It wasn’t great and it wasn’t terrible, pretty much like the show itself..and surely there have been MUCH worse pilots–like some that didn’t get picked up.. “the history of television?”!! lol!:)