Nellie Andreeva

In the fourth and final installment of his web show Sheen’s Korner, Charlie Sheen looked great, much closer to his well-groomed character Charlie Harper he played on Two and a Half Men than the disheveled hobo look he sported yesterday. Unlike his previous free-wheeling shows, he was scripted this time, delivering a prepared 10-minute semi-coherent rant that was full of viscous attacks on his usual targets, top CBS and Warner Bros. executives and Two and a Half Men co-creator Chuck Lorre.

After using the book cover of The Art of War by After Sun Tzu as a stand-by screen before the live show, Sheen used clips from Apocalypse Now (“I love the smell of napalm in the morning”) and A Few Good Men (“You can’t handle the truth”) in an opening montage to The Doors’ The End.

In the show, seen live but about 60,000, he addressed his Monday dismissal from Two and a Half Men. “What occurred yesterday was in fact completely illegal, in fact, unconscionable,” he said. “And to quote my lawyer really F**k, f**k, suck suck.”

Sheen proclaimed himself “Malibu Messiah, Condor of Calabasas” and went on to issue an “unwanted list” of people he doesn’t want close to his “gold.” One of them, Peter Roth, president of Men producer Warner Bros. TV, actually got praise. But there was no love for CBS Corp. president and CEO Leslie Moonves, whom Sheen called “Less Than Goonves.” “You gave me your word so in turn you gave me nothing,” Sheen said. “Screw Les, or better yet, Screw more.” Warner Bros. TV Group president Bruce Rosenblum, who has been spearheading the studio’s dealings with Sheen, also got a nickname from the actor, Bruce Daisyandwilt. “It’s over tiny man,” Sheen said. “Grab ankles and accept your fate.” As usual, the worst insults were reserved for Sheen’s current enemy No. 1, Lorre, whom Sheen called  “Chuck E. Cheeseball.” “Where are you hiding silly clown? Behind your narcissism?” Sheen’s anti-Lorre rant quickly turned into high-school name-calling. He also took a jab at Men‘s declining ratings with no new originals. “Last night’s 2.8 rating? How did it feel?”

Sheen kept the military rhetoric going with his closing lines: “Stay tuned good soldiers, I’ll see you very soon. On the battlefield. Godspeed.”

TV Editor Nellie Andreeva - tip her here.