While I keep waiting for the wheels to fall off of the Charlie Sheen Crazy Train, the former Two and A Half Men star is encroaching on terrain reserved for Jane Austen and others who’ve had their works satirically updated with supernatural creatures in books like Pride And Prejudice And Zombies. Book editor Brendan Deneen has teamed with Can You Survive The Zombie Apocalypse? author Max Brallier to write Vatican Assassin Warlock. They are calling it a “dark satirical fantasy novella,” with a lead character named Charlie who has been built right out of Sheen’s own rantings. The setup: an actor in Los Angeles is secretly an assassin for the Vatican, battling supernatural forces. The novella will be published as a 99 cent title this month through Deneen’s Ardden Entertainment, which until now has only published comics. “Max and I were sitting around and thought, what if all these things Charlie Sheen is saying are true, and basically we took all his ideas and forced a narrative around them,” Deneen said. “While filming Platoon, he’s kidnapped by evil scientists who experiment on him and inject him with radioactive tiger blood that turns him into a warlock. During his work for the Vatican, he’s injected with blood from these goddesses and that gives him the Adonis DNA.” While it seems the novel is just the latest in a parade of people exploiting Sheen, Deneen said: “He’s depicted as a compelling hero. The book is about an actor with this crazy party animal persona but in reality he’s a serious hero protecting humanity. Who wouldn’t want to be depicted as a hero warlock, battling the forces of evil?” Deneen’s a former movie exec who runs Macmillan Films, a shingle to get that publisher in the movie business. This is a separate venture, but he’s had no movie bites yet.






Who here wants Charlie to star in NBCs Playboy? Perfect role for him. He could replace Eddie Cibrian.
Cool! (Seriously)
This is becoming so difficult to watch. Someone get him some help.
The wheels have already fallen off the Charlie Sheen Express. How far the train’s gonna slide, what it’s gonna hit, and when, remains to be seen.
Charlie rocks!
Another iteration of retardedness.
The wheels haven’t come off anything! You go Charlie- F those hypocrites!!!
Simply brilliant.
Charlie is one of the greats!
Hilarious either way — whether you’re in the sidelines watching the frenzy reinvent itself or you’re feeding on the carcass. This is classic entertainment. Clearly, Paddy Chayefsky was a prognosticator not a satirist.
Playboy should bring him on as co-President and move him into the mansion. Hef is too old to be a playboy running around with pornstars. They need a new face.
My client demands to star in this and to be paid $25 million up front if they refuse to cast Charlie then I unleash Marty Singer on their cowardly butts and we will sue them for $250 million.
Awesome!
I will buy this!
deneen is a genius!
this will be the first comic book I have bought since I was maybe 12. I’m 27 now. stoked!
Dear Brendan,
Thanks for putting a shining light on such an important issues as drug and alcohol abuse while simultaneously milking one mans destructive behavior for personal financial gain.
People must be flocking to work with you.
You are obviously ALL CLASS.