Nellie Andreeva

After mostly conciliatory messages for the past month, Charlie Sheen has fired one of his most vicious attacks on Two and a Half Men co-creator Chuck Lorre over increased speculation that Lorre is plotting a Men without Sheen. The letter (aka rant), titled Good Luck Chuck, was released by TMZ. In it, Sheen talks about the prospects of Men continuing without him and references the fact that Lorre was at the very end of an expensive overall deal at Warner Bros TV that hadn’t produced a hit when the script for Men was picked up by CBS contingent on getting Sheen for the lead.

“MY fans may tune in for a minute, but at the end of the day, no one cares about your feeble show without me,” Sheen wrote. “Shame on you. Not even a phone call to the man that put you on the map. The man that put 500 million dollars in your pockets. You were on your way out of Warner Bros. with a buy out and a cup of cold coffee in your shaky and clammy hands. And then I walked into your office. And you created a show BASED ON MY AWESOME LIFE. I busted my ass for 8 years to support your vision. Your dream. In turn, it is my nightmare. You sad silly fool.” He goes on to also call Lorre “a-hole pussy loser,” “nut-less sociopath,” “a stupid bitch,” “a narcissist,” “a coward,” “a loser” and “a spineless rat” and once again challenges him to take Sheen’s lawsuit against him to court. (Warner Bros TV as well as Lorre have been pushing for private arbitration.) “I’ll beat your chicken shit soul in a court room into a state of gratitude.”

In closing, Sheen mocks the recent ratings for Men, which drew a 2.0 rating in 18-49 with a repeat Monday. “The message is crystal clear; NO CHARLIE SHEEN. NO SHOW. And that’s exactly what it will be for you and your desperate vanity cards, every Monday night, a no-show. The ratings right now are not a fluke. It’s a big fat mess. A 2.0 demo? That sucks. Almost as bad as you. You’ve been warned. Reap the whirl-wind you cockroach, reap it.”

Sheen’s visceral attack came hours after Lorre’s latest metaphorical vanity card full of thinly veiled attacks against the Men ran after The Big Bang Theory last night.

Thanks to the magic of computer graphics, the monkey in tonight’s episode was not actually smoking a cigarette, nor was he ever exposed to secondhand smoke. At all times, every effort was made to make the monkey feel happy and safe. Nevertheless, he proved impossible to work with. During the week of production his behavior became increasingly erratic, to the point of refusing to come out of his trailer to rehearse. It wasn’t until after we finished filming his scenes that we learned why. The monkey is a heroin addict. Yes, hard as it may be to believe, the monkey had a monkey on his back. Thankfully, an intervention was staged by the Geico lizard and he is now going through detox and a twelve step program at the Bonzo Center in Palm Springs. Everyone at The Big Bang Theory wishes him well.

TV Editor Nellie Andreeva - tip her here.