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Finally, Universal Pictures has released a teaser trailer for Battleship, the Peter Berg-directed film that takes the popular board game and mashes it up with a science fiction alien premise. The movie has been the subject of heightened cynicism for the longest time, partly because of its tie-in to the Hasbro board game, its high price tag and the rumor that Universal put so many chips on the table it has been reticent to take chances on films like At the Mountains of Madness and Dark Tower (though studio insiders say Battleship had nothing to do with those decisions). There was even one straight-faced report that longtime studio chief Ron Meyer would be supplanted by Dick Cook because of the Hasbro deal and Battleship (this proved unfounded). All this negative ink came before anybody saw a frame of a movie that stars Liam Neeson, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Brooklyn Decker and Rihanna. Berg told me recently that he hoped buzz would turn around once people started getting a look at the work they did, and this teaser provides the first opportunity. My feeling? Berg and Kitsch certainly made a good team on the TV series version of Friday Night Lights, which is giving Kitsch shots to become a movie star in this film, the Oliver Stone-directed Savages and Disney’s John Carter, based on John Carter of Mars. Maybe they’ve got something here.
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So… how long into the movie do the battleships transform into giant robots?
Agree. This couldn’t be less distinguishable from a Transformers trailer. Not that that’s a bad thing I guess – it is what it is. But it’s shocking that Bay didn’t direct this.
Seriously… looks like where Transformers would leave off, having buried the Decepticon at the bottom of the ocean. Pathetic that this is the shit they cram down our throats every summer.
Don’t forget the Abyss!
(The filmmakers clearly haven’t…)
How does this look anything like The Abyss?
Well the movie made it really clear that “The Fallen” will rise again.
Ahhhh Tim Riggins looks hooootttttttt.
Shame on Peter Berg for going all Michael Bay on this.
A Michael Bay film?
I think this trailer will actually fuel further cynisism.
You are correct, sir…
Gee, ya think?
Is there a way they can turn this into a film about Rihanna’s character?
It stars Brooklyn Decker and Rihanna? And “Berg…hoped buzz would turn around once people started getting a look at the work”?
And it contains the dialog: “Prepare to fire!” “Sir, which weapons?” “All of them…”
It was bound to happen–something would come along that would make Michael Bay look like a thoughtful, restrained filmmaker.
Correct. The first 30 seconds make it ABUNDANTLY clear that Brooklyn Decker was hired purely for her, uh, talent.
Berg at least could have taken (yet another) page from Bay’s playbook and had her wriggle into some Daisy Dukes and pretend to “fix” a motorcycle or something.
Had no idea Battleship was some kind of robotic alien attack movie.
Do we defeat the aliens by dividing the ocean into a grid, then randomly selecting areas to bomb until we “HIT”?
C-9!
miss.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
‘sighs’
What they should do is take the name “Battleship” off it, because that’s just going to open them to ridicule. It’s an alien movie – sell it as an alien movie.
You mean the trouble-making lead is dating the boss’s daughter? Wow, what a great idea! I’ve only seen it a thousand times before, I’m sure they came up with a new angle.
That actress must’ve been cold on the beach!
Yep, Transformers 4.
Cool visuals! Just judging by the trailer, was it necessary to link it to the board game???
It looks like absolute shit.
Will make a ton of money.
wow, looks like Berg delivered a big titted hit
I couldn’t be more confused.
My thoughts exactly.
He sunk my sense of well-being. Obviously Peter Berg wants to be the next Michael Bay here, but couldn’t Michael Bay be the last Michael Bay?
It’s not Transformers. Remember it’s based on a Hasbro toy.
It’s Battleship meets Rock’m Sock’m
I can’t wait until they re-release the board game with the UFO elements. I wonder how it will change the rules.
Really looks like a poor man’s Michael Bay. Pete Berg used to have his own style. What happened?
Seriously. Say what you will about the stories, but every frame of a Michael Bay movie looks amazing.
This looks as LAME as that Relativity alien invasion movie Skyline that did tepid bizness last Thanksgiving…but Uni made this for $240m!!?! If the Langley/Fogelson regime isn’t removed by this time next year, Comcast must be figuring that flying pigs are taking over the country anyway, so no need to purge brainless execs. Sony could re-release the underwhelming BATTLE L.A. to garner more box office than the travesty that we now can call BATTLESHIP.
I’m in if we get to see Liam Neeson lament, “You sunk my battleship!”
The script was one of the most painful reading experiences in my life. I was truly just flat out terrible. Paper thin plot, stupid characters, total uneven and completely brainless.
I guarantee you this film is EXACTLY what your thinking it is.
I have no doubt that this film is terrible BUT make no mistake, it’ll still make money if Universal picks the right release date. For my part, I’ll take my money and go see The Dark Knight Rises.
where are the damned plastic pegs darting through the boats? What the F kinda crap is this? I don’t go to K-town for Italian food, I don’t see transformers for josh douchamel, and I ain’t gonna see this without the pegs.
I’m putting you on notice Universal: If I don’t see that cheap red plastic in the next trailer, I’m boycotting.
You realize there are pegs starting through the boats in the trailer, right? 1:59.
Those were giant pegs hitting the side of the boat. I think I heard the aliens scream, “HIT!”
Why Liam? Why? You need the money that bad?
He’s worked non-stop since the death of his wife. Big budget, mid budget, a low budget indie.
Probably just wants to stay busy to take his mind off it.
He has two sons to put through college. I don’t blame him for one second… this one paycheck makes a million roles like Les Miserables financially viable for him.
If this is the reason Dark Tower got put in turnaround i’m gonna cry.
I couldn’t agree more. Seriously, why didn’t Universal put that Snow White shit they’re cooking up in turnaround and make Dark Towers instead?
Battleshit.
Best review of this movie!
LOL! “HIT.”
The ships look cool enough.
It will probably make tons of money.