Nellie Andreeva

The always unfiltered Sons of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter took to Twitter today to vent over the fact that his hit FX series did not land a single Emmy nomination. That included a snub of co-star (and Sutter’s wife) Katey Sagal, who won a Golden Globe for her role on the show in January. “The worse part of not getting an Emmy nod — Katey promised me a threesome if she won. Now I have to settle for me, her and the shaved bunny,” Sutter tweeted, adding, “The worse part of not getting any Emmy nods is all the wasted blowjobs I gave at the Academy picnic. My breath still smells like sour ammonia… Because you know if we were nominated I’d be all humble and blowing smoke up their asses. Now I can stay true to myself and just be a dick.”

Last summer, Sutter called the Emmy voting system “flawed.” Most of his barbs today were directed at the TV Academy and its relatively high median age, which he blames for his show’s snub. “Most Emmy voters think Quinn Martin is still a player… Two academy member walk into a bar. One orders a beer. Then they both die because they’re so fucking old… Saw two Academy members on the golf course. One asked the other what club to use. Then they both died because they were so fucking old… If my mom and dad were alive this Emmy snub would kill them. That’s not true, they were too old to understand my show. Just like the Academy.”

Sutter also alluded that networks may be buying Emmys, addressed the Emmy shutout of David Simon’s Treme and Frank Darabont’s The Walking Dead (“Me, David Simon and Frank Darabont are meeting at Home Depot to rent chainsaws and woodchippers”) and took a shot at Fox’s Glee, which is produced by 20th TV, whose Fox 21 division produces SOA. “Fuck Glee. Hate those annoying, “please accept me for who I am”, singing brats. there, I said it. Are you happy? (He later clarified that he “loves Glee” but is “tired of all the jizz piling up at its feet.”) Sutter, who after the rant returned to Twitter to state that he was “really OK with no nominations,” was much nicer to drama Friday Night Lights. “FNL gives me hope,” he tweeted about the football drama’s first best series Emmy nom, which it earned for its fifth and final season. “Maybe Season 7 of SOA will get nominated — when the guys have all become doctors and lawyers who sing in a fucking choir.”

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