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This ABC show now in its 13th season is the bane of my existence (because I hate it so much) and returns on Monday, September 19th, with a fall season lineup of spandex-sporting contestants that’s as bewildering as ever. The full roster is:
– Nancy “J’accuse” Grace, TV blonde who rants about white trash murders.
– David Arquette, better known as a Howard Stern guest than an actor.
– LA Laker Ron Artest changing his name to “Metta World Peace”.
– Chaz Bono, who’s obviously there for random curiosity.
– George Clooney’s dumped girlfriend Elizabetta Canalis.
– Kristin “Drama Drama Drama” Cavallari, the unlikeable Reality TV bimbo.
– The least interesting Kardashian (which is saying a lot): Rob.
– Carson “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” Kressley, who needs a new agent.
– Ricki Lake coming out of the Witness Protection Program.
– J.R. Martinez, a soap opera actor who helps fulfill ABC’s diversity quota.
– Singer Chynna Phillips married to the least interesting Baldwin brother.
– Soccer player Hope Solo promoting her nude spread in ESPN The Magazine.
Editor-in-Chief Nikki Finke - tip her here.
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I recently picked up the DVD of Celebrity Bowling and I can say that one episode from the mid-70s of that show had bigger stars than DWTS. Billy Barty is a more interesting celebrity than a third tier Kardashian. Buy the DVD and skip this fumes series
Why one earth would you pick up a DVD of Celebrity Bowling from the 1970′s?
The reasoning behind this baffling move is probably more interesting than DWTS.
to enjoy the pleasure of seeing Charles Nelson Reilly in rental shoes.
Where else will George Foreman (in his prime) face off with Roy Rogers (after roy talks about getting trigger stuffed).
If you’ve never been to the Pioneer Theater when they’ve screened the Paul Lynde Christmas Special, then you’re missing out.
TEAM CHAZ!!!
These are the times my friends:)!!
I HAV”NT WATCHED DWTS FOR A FEW SEASONS,BECAUSE IT GOT SO ANNOYING WITH THE SO CALLED STARS,BUT THIS TIME WITH NANCY GRACE? A KARDASHIAN? EVEN MANY OF MY FRIENDS SAID, NO MORE.
It can’t be any more annoying than posters who use all caps.
You forgot to mention the brilliant and amazing Brooke Burke as host….oh, Brooke and her one brain cell.
WTF!! Dancing With the “STARS”. These are not stars! LAME, worse cast EVER!
DO YOU THINK YOU CNA DANCE IS MUCH BETTER
Truly, anyone who has such a problem with this show needs to get a life.
It’s a harmless show that millions of people enjoy. It regularly posts huge numbers because it brings together young and old alike to celebrate music, performance and dance. What is wrong with that? Go back to your bridges and tunnels you terrible trolls and work on making something out of yourself and this misspent rage. Double-click the Final Draft icon, re-work that treatment and make something better if you can. Leave this reality-variety show hybrid that generates millions in revenue, employees scores of people and makes millions smile alone.
Yes, the word “stars” is used very loosely with this show.
Never seen the show. Heard about it.
Congratulations
This line up will give me the strength to break the DWTS addiction!
Nikki, it’s understandable that you hate this show, I’m no fan myself, but your headline is incorrect from an industry perspective. This season’s collection of guests is undeniably one of the show’s highest profile line-up. Losers and attention-hounds for sure. But there’s more collective fame here than the last couple of cycles combined.
I don’t watch the show, but I think Nancy Grace could bring in viewers. She is very polarizing, like Palin and Gosslin, those people bring viewers who want them to succeed and want to see them fall on their butts.
David Arquette is strange though. I thought he owned part of Cougar Town and he’s still acting, why is he so desperate?
This lineup shows just how brain dead people are becoming. Train wrecks, obscene reality shows & a bi-polar lawyer. Grace will probable have the judges arrested for the murder of disco. The only real star is David Arquette.
Is it me, or will People Magazine (and all of its pointless brothers & sisters) somehow turn this latest crapfest into multiple front cover issues?
omg Nikki..you just made my day. Couldn’t agree with you more..and yet another (depressing) example of just how low the bar is set in reality tv–yet how many millions of stupefied eyeballs are drawn to it..like lemmings to a cliff. Maybe next they’ll get a psychic with a corporate connection (is there a paranormal reality show owned by Disney/ABC?) to commune with the spirit of Lawrence Welk in a surprise guest appearance.
Ok, some suit over at Disney is checking this out.
For a second, I thought this article meant DWTS had jumped the shark. Then I remembered that it’s always sucked. I’m with you, Nikki. Hopefully this is the beginning of the long awaited end to one of the biggest who-gives-a-shit series, um, EVER.
NIKKI – HOW DARE YOU BADMOUTH THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND – RON ARTEST AKA METTA WORLD PEACE. REMEMBER ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY: RON ARTEST = RATINGS. I’M OUT.
AGREED!!! I’VE NEVER WATCHED AN EPISODE OF DWTS, BUT I MIGHT TUNE IN (OR MAYBE JUST WATCH THE HIGHLIGHTS) JUST TO SEE WHAT NONSENSE METTA WORLD PEACE CAN COME UP WITH NEXT.
THIS IS MY POINT EXACTLY. PEACE WILL BRING IN VIEWERS WHO OTHERWISE WOULDN’T TURN IN TO THIS DOO-DOO.
Ron Artest is a coma victim’s Dennis Rodman
Wow, I had no idea that all of these people had become professional studio dancers.
So…
When will they announce the Stars?
I think they need to remove “stars” from the title.
Poor Cher. I mean seriously. Has the woman not been through enough with this kid? She needs this added dagger through the heart? (Give her credit for never having a Britney/Whitney-style crack up.) Then again she may be so tired of supporting him she is thrilled he finally has a paying gig.
And how the hell will they be introducing these so called stars? What do they say about nobodies like Elizabetta Canalis as she descends the grand staircase : “Now here’s a pretty lady who fucked George Clooney for a while, and then got dumped on her boney ass” – ? Or do they simply call her a cocktail waitress, starfucker, what ? And what about Chaz ? Does he get the catchall meaningless intro of “author and activist ” or “former girl,” what ? I would hate to be writing for a nonsense show such as this, having to think up passable descriptors for people who have mostly accomplished nothing.
Chaz will probably be introduced as the “star” of a reality show about himself, which is nominated for three emmys. I bet they don’t describe the topic in too much detail! LOL
Just another reason I gave up TV. Just couldn’t put up with all the
Bulls**t anymore. I’m supposed to pony up 100 dollars a month for this nails-against-a-chalkboard crap?
I’ll save my time for Mad Men or Boardwalk Empire on DVDs.
I needed this! This was better then a bran Muffin Nikki! I mean..c’mon..the KardTRASHian brother? Carson “its not a lisp” Kressely? and who the hell is Hope Solo?
You’re being far too nice. The rest of the world refers to them as the Kardouchiennes now.
LOL, I love you Nikki!!!! This has to be the worst show on television. I have no respect for ABC anymore and the CEO’s need to fire there Television exectives.
This is the WORSE, WORSE EVER!!! WHAT in the world is ABC thinking? OBVIOUSLY they are NOT. I’ve always been loyal fan even when the contestants were a little to be desired. Not this season. Checking out! I feel for the judges.
LMAO, great post Nikki.
Dancing with the Wannabes and the Neverwere. Pull the plug already.
Season 13 of Dancing with the ‘Stars’ might have just put the seal on the cancellation envelope. NOT WATCHING – ABC you suck over and over again!
Well, I like DWTS and I love this year cast. I cannot wait for the show to start.
It is way more entertaining for me to watch than stuff as Big Brother ,jersey shore or one of those cop CBS procedurals.
Nancy Grace , Ricky Lake…:)
look i’m going to make an original comment… “where are the stars” ha ha ha ha… “what a lame cast” woooooo “i’m not gonna watch anymore” oh yeah
look at me… what a clever comment… “i don’t get why angelina and brad aren’t doing it”… wahahahaha
you morons never seem to get it… always whine about the cast… and the show always does huge numbers… then you whine some more…
i don’t watch the show but i can’t imagine bigger losers than you guys getting angry over this
Agree with dman. That a harmless piece of entertainment provokes this level of bitterness…it’s never been about the level of star.
It’s not some incredible infectious disease you can’t escape…just set your dvr for one of hundreds of other shows.
Nobody forces you through the door of a movie theatre to see a crappy film.
Losers