Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So comedy writer Ken Furer delivers his mock Wish List a few days before the real 2011 Black List appears:
The 2011 Wish List is a compilation of the best unproduced, unwritten screenplays in Hollywood. The second annual list is determined based on a comprehensive voting process involving a tribunal of studio development executives, the BCS computer ranking algorithm, the United States Electoral College, and Sharon Osbourne. Please remember, The Wish List is not a “best of” list. It is, at best, a “waste of the next few minutes of your life.” Enjoy.
REPUBLICANS AND ALIENS
A political sci-fi crossover in which Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, and Michele Bachmann must join forces with an intergalactic alien army to prevent a band of illegal immigrants from crossing the border.SNAGGED
When his only daughter’s bag of pretzel M&Ms goes missing at the petting zoo, a vengeful father sets out to track it down. TAKEN but with goats.KELVIN + TINA = XOXO <3 4EVA
After burning a mixed CD for his secret crush, shy high school freshman Kelvin gets arrested for online piracy. A nonlinear romantic dramedy that jumps back and forth in time throughout his parole sentence.SEAL TEAM 7
An animated family film about a herd of seven lazy elephant seals from Antarctica that gets recruited to assassinate Osama Bin Laden. Seth Rogen will voice all seven seals.READY TO ASSEMBLE
A remake of Svenn Hjürgynssön’s gritty Swedish crime thriller GUNFIRE KILL SQUAD DEATH KILL that follows a gang of street thugs who attempt to rob an Ikea but get entangled in an all-night hostage standoff armed only with Allen wrenches.GROOMSMAIDS
When his fiancee leaves for her bachelorette party, an uptight guy and his slacker groomsmen throw their own bachelorette party in order to prove that guys are still just as raunchy as girls. A male Bridesmaids. Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis, and Charlie Day probably attached.MIXED SIGNALS
A found footage horror film about a grad student who video chats on his iPhone with his long distance girlfriend when the call mysteriously starts to drop out. Is it a bad Wi-Fi signal or is Siri turning into a jealous psychopath? (Spoiler alert: it’s a bad Wi-Fi signal.)THE SOMEWHAT EXCEPTIONAL LIFE OF THE MILDLY AMAZING SPANDEX BOY
Based on the cult graphic novel, a dorky high school student who keeps getting beat up starts dressing like a superhero … which pretty much only makes things worse.MONEYHOOP
An edge-of-your-seat conference room drama that follows NBA Players Association executive director Billy Hunter as he battles Commissioner David Stern in a laborious collective bargaining negotiation. James Franco attached as the neutral third party mediator – and also as dolly grip.CIRCLED
When a self-absorbed guy gets circled on Google+, he does whatever happens when you get circled on Google+.ADAPTING ADAPTATION
While attempting to adapt the self-reflexive Charlie Kaufman film ADAPTATION, a struggling playwright realizes that his very attempt to adapt ADAPTATION is actually the adaptation. A Charlie Kaufman-esque tale in the vein of ADAPTATION.STALK
A retelling of JACK AND THE BEANSTALK, flipped on its head and told from the point of view of the beanstalk.I WANT TO F**K YOUR BRAINS OUT
A raunchy romantic comedy about a seemingly innocent, dorky girl who turns out to be a tiger in bed. Currently in development under the new title GETTING BUSY. Offer automatically out to Emma Stone. And as always, Betty White is attached.
Editor-in-Chief Nikki Finke - tip her here.


I just fell out of my chair laughing…bravo!!
this isn’t funny Nikki
It is if you get the references.
Anyone still making James Franco jokes should be rethinking his future in comedy.
Comedy writer? This is humiliating. Maybe ‘Whitney’ is hiring
who’s he signed with?
Get over yourselves haters. This is funny. If you hate it, you’re probably in the middle of writing one of these movies.
I thought the blacklist turned into that heavy-handed website…
It did! I was wondering when someone was going to call foul on that. Who wants another subscription tracking system? Whatever integrity or relevance the Black List had anymore has been eliminated by the attempt to turn a grass-roots industry ranking for beloved and unsung scripts into a blatant money grab.
Nikki
You were right, this was a waste of a few minutes. For the record, none of these projects should be produced.
Are you kidding? Adapting Adaptation has Oscar written all over it. In Sharpie.
Was funny, above comments obviously just too cool/jealous
This is by far one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. I laughed out loud at most of them, you know its seriously funny when you spell out LOL for emphasis
STAR TREK VII: ROMULANS v. KARDASHIANS – When Romulan ships threaten to blow up the Earth, it’s up to the Kardashian sisters to save humanity from destruction or whatever.
Pretty funny list.
I was on The Black List.
Awesome honor.
The reason people are saying it’s not funny, isn’t because it’s a send-up, it’s because, IMHO, it’s like Steve Martin humor these days. His written humor. It’s very grandfatherly, Okay, I can see you making the joke, but it’s not telling me anything about, say, human nature. It’s just a spoof on the ideas/titles.
It’s like if someone made parody Deadline site, and everything was just a bit tweaked. If it was called “Bloodline” and the woman’s name was Rikki Dinke, etc.
That’s just my take on it. When’s the new list coming out?
I agree with your general sentiment. But this list is funny. I think it tells a lot about the nature of scripts being passed around and buzzed about.
Even though it is general tweaking, it’s still clever.
THANKS CAPTAIN TODDVIOUS!!
Fail post. I hope he at least paid Nikki back with a good scoop for wasting everybody’s time.
Don’t you think it’s ironic that any post that begins with the word “fail”, is typically, in and of itself, a failure?
Now if you would have started with “EPIC fail post.”… Now THAT would’ve been original!
I.C.
I would totally watch the Seal Team 7 movie. I would still watch it if Seth Rogan DID voice all of the seals …Is that wrong? Cause now I’m kinda sad it’s just a joke.
Funny. STALK is a particularly hilarious and insightful comment on exactly how desperate and/or stupid much of Hollywood has become.
Heh–STALK would be far more entertaining than MIRROR MIRROR looks to be, for sure.
DEMOCRATS AND ALIENS
A political sci-fi crossover in which Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid lose their Earthling masks and are forced to use the media to convince voters they’re really not people-eating lizards from another galaxy.
Look how easy it is!
So does that mean that the REPUBLICANS AND ALIENS one hurt your feelings, Gordon?
Non-Progressives don’t have feelings, Elmore. Just a strong aversion to Lame.
Funniest thing I’ve read all week. Thanks Nikki!
I thought it was hilarious. But I have no taste. Isn’t that ironic?