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As I like to say, you’re only as good as your last gown. And while no one really spilled blood on the red carpet at the Oscars, a few actresses missed the mark today. Mostly because they just didn’t seem to care enough or try very hard. Jennifer Aniston’s matronly tomato-red Valentino reminded me of a sad little bowl of vanilla ice cream when I’m on a PMS snack binge. 
Yawn. The classic silhouette also called for more effort with her hair and makeup. She looked like she came straight from Zuma Beach. Kristen Stewart’s cream strapless Reem Acra gown felt like a wishy-washy afterthought for the edgy, young star who fronts for Balenciaga. She appeared sullen, like she was heading for an arranged marriage.
Related: Oscars Fashion: Who Wore What?
Poor Melissa McCarthy, who usually relies on an empire waist to complement her figure. 
That gray David Meister gown featured a lot of artful draping but still seemed to swallow her whole and delivered no silhouette whatsoever. Salma Hayek looked like she was wearing a gilded Burmese python around her neck in an Alexander McQueen velvet gown with a gold collar embellishment — the stunning dress just didn’t work on such a petite woman. Plus, don’t we all count on Hayek to deliver major cleavage? Kelly Rowland’s Donna Karan Atelier black and white gown looked very Vegas showgirl, alas. And let’s all just have a chuckle at Helena Bonham Carter’s shredded Vivienne Westwood couture gown and insane updo. Did she pull up in a stretch rickshaw?
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Seriously, I don’t get Jennifer Aniston’s appeal. She’s played the same character since “Friends” and is known more for her off-screen life than anything on-screen. I can’t even remember what the last movie was that she worked on. Meh.
I’m with you. I never got her appeal.Never a fan and never will be And why the hell is she always wearing red dresses.
Agreed. She was actually good for the first few years on “Friends.” Then she lost it, and never got it back, though she is still treated like an A-list movie star.
I completely agree about Aniston. I think she’s made a string of forgettable comedies that I will never pay to see. She’s adorable to look at, though, and her personal life is rich fodder for the tabloids, whoever reads those. Somebody must. Kristen Stewart looked uncomfortable all night, perhaps due to Razzie she won earlier in the day. Halle Berry and Charlize Theron we’re predictably stunning, or was it stunned, when they were mentioned in the Boob appreciation song? Who ever had that idea, and who approved it, should be pilloried in the center lane of Wilshire Boulevard, in front of the Academy. Nobody came out of this show looking good other than William Shatner, maybe.
These women who show their boobs on screen don’t expect respect instead of men’s slobber and leers, do they? Song seemed honest to me.
When I got far enough on my dvr to see what people we talking about “Kristen Stewart is dancing to the music in her head” Folks, she was stoned.
In Stewart’s defense, Lara Spencer (who did an overall hideous job as an interviewer) reported that Stewart had arrived at the show on crutches. Stewart’s peeps did a really good job of making sure that said crutches were never seen on an ABC camera, but her limp was massively noticeable as she walked to center stage with Daniel Radcliffe to present their category. So if she was on anything, it was likely painkillers and she had a good excuse for looking a wee bit less thrilled than her uncomfortable-in-her-own-skin self usually does.
Aniston’s mall hair was even worse than the dress.
Kristen was not sullen on the red carpet. I’m not a Kristen fan but she had a cut foot. Her makeup was flawless. Her dress wasn’t bad. She looks nicer in a color but Nicholas Ghesquiere isn’t with Balenciaga anymore, why would she wear something from them?
Most obvious fact since the passing of the classic period of Hollywood is that it has become so very unclassy, creating nothing worth spending money on and spawning the debutantes who are always coming out but never figuring out who they are or even who they want to be; phony and assuming, posing, exposing too much in the mistaken thought that people are begging for more skin, more sleaze, more trash to bedazzle the world?! Very unattractive and unpleasant to look at. Ah, Hollywood! What you have become! No elegance on the carpet; slumped and unaware..garish colors, frumpery, altogether a most unpleasant parade of The Foolish who seemingly know absolutely nothing about anyone else or anything else except themselves, isolated in their own small world of self-esteem but no self-respect. Thank God, Old Hollywood has left us good memories on the screen. Many of the real stars dead and gone had their personal lives in shambles but they had the sense, thanks to as certain decorum and to the studios to always appear circumspect to the public.
Kristen Stewart was on crutches when the cameras weren’t on her. I’ll give her a pass for sullenness — she may have been in pain.
If your vanilla ice cream is tomato-red, you might want to change your brand.
(Just teasing.
)
That was the tamest dress HBC has worn in some time, I wished she’d word her usual goth/steampunk gear.
What was with Kristen Stewart’s weird grunting during Daniel Radcliffe’s presentation? Radcliffe looked and sounded classy while Stewart seemed to be having menstrual cramps. If her foot was that sore that she had to grunt on camera then they should have let Radcliffe present alone.
End the tyranny of strapless gowns; they fight physics and look awkward as the night goes on, and smash a bust line.
Would it kill Kristen Stewart to show at least a little appreciation for winning the Hollywood lottery? Tens of millions of people would love to be in her place. Have her try working in a cubicle at an insurance company or something for 40 hours a week and then see how much she appreciates what she’s got.
Amy Adams, Adele, Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Lawrence, all perfect, Sally Field looked great too. I give it up for Samuel L. Jackson and Clooney. The boobs (as always) were obviously for the lesbians. Halle Berry you need a new hairdresser! (Although I guess that was the Bond hairstyle.) Renee Zellweger looked like she was driven to the ceremony in an ambulance – was pushed out the back doors and sailed past everyone on the red carpet face down on a gurney – whoever did her make-up should be sent to Gitmo! This woman is beautiful and it took me twenty minutes to figure out who she was and that was this morning! AND WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL MERYL STREEP THAT ALTHOUGH SHE LOVES PLAYING THE PART MAYBE IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA THAT SHE SHOULDN’T LOOK LIKE MOTHER GOOSE THREATENING TO BUST A GOLDEN EGG AND A CAP IN DANIEL DAY LEWIS’ ASS? I’m an expert on these things as I am typing this wearing on-sale cargo pants from Old Navy so you KNOW what I’m talking about. Next!
Daniel Radcliffe and Kristen Stewart would be good together in a movie actually. A study in contrasts.
Mentioning Helena Bonham Carter THIS YEAR is a ridiculous move, considering this was the most tame outfit she’s ever worn to an event, and, ultimately, she looked good. You would actually look at her and say there goes an attractive woman, as opposed to Who let the zombie queen in the door?
Jennifer Anniston has a great deal of appeal. But she’s a one trick pony that will not age into other rolls. I saw Wanderlust on HBO Saturday. Painful.
Kristen Stewart by far. Sullen, uninteresting, and without any redeeming features to speak of.
Even the crutches gimmick was tedious.
Amy Adams seemed pissed on the red carpet, first when being photographed, and then during the Seacrest interview. (And, no, it had nothing to do with Seacrest.)
Does anyone understand the annoying behavior of Kristen Chenowith on the red carpet? She seemed intent on trying to insult people, not interview them…
Aniston was BEAUTIFUL. I think all of you are blind people. Sorry for my poor english.
How does a tomato *red* Valentino remind you of a sad little bowl of *vanilla* ice cream? Red does not equal vanilla.
…and yes, Jennifer Aniston, needed to comb and style her hair. Then again, that’s not new for her.
I will give Kristen Stewart a pass on being sullen; she was most likely in pain due to her injury. However, she needs to realize that flat-chested women should stay stay from dresses made for women with breasts.
No mention of the dead moths on Kerry Washington’s dress or Meryl Streep’s heinous gown?
Even in a cherry-red dress, Aniston is dull as dishwater. The straw bleached hair doesn’t help anything either. Same old yawnfest.