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My colleague Dominic Patten yesterday revealed how Universal sent lawyers to invoke coitus interruptus by halting production of Fifty Shades Of Grey: A XXX Adaptation. Aside from blatant copyright infringement, I think those porn producers have also disgraced a proud hardcore sex film industry tradition of coining clever titles from real movies and TV shows. According to the 10 seconds I spent researching this on Google, those classics apparently have included: Splendor in the Ass, Throbbin’ Hood, Ball The President’s Men, Hung Wankenstein, Das Booty, Enema of the State, In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon, The Rodfather, Add Momma to the Train, Star Whores, Schindler’s Fist and E.T.: The Extra-Testicle. Not to be outdone, XXX classics inspired by TV shows include Beverly Hills 9021-Ho and Dawson’s Crack. C’mon guys, how about spending 10 seconds to come up with something that is not only laugh-worthy, but gets you out of the lawsuit cross-hairs and into the free speech protected preserve of parody?
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Agreed. This list took me about 20 seconds:
50 Shades of Gay
or
50 Maids who Lay (50 French Maids, one guy)
or
50 Lays with Gray (old people orgy)
or
50 Shades of Play (interracial orgy)
or
50 Shades of Bey (Beyonce lookalikes)
or
50 Shades of Dey (Susan Dey lookalikes)
or
50 Shades of Hay (Horses)
or
50 Shades of Kay (Mary Kay salespeople)
or
50 Shades of Ray (Ray J in a porn not involving Kim Kardashian)
and finally
50 Quaids who Play (porn with Randy Quaid and any other Quaids that wanna get in to the action)
Love your titles. Good job!
This is the current trend. Batman XXX, Star Trek XXX, etc… the pornography companies taking the position that any subject turned into hardcore sex is somehow parody. The only funny thing is that it took so long for a studio to bother with a real lawsuit…
h
Don’t forget On Golden Blonde.
“50 Shags of Grey”
I sure hope that Universal’s crack legal team uses the Lanham Act instead of the Copyright laws if they want to prevail.
You left out John and Kate Fuck Eight, which to this day I still can’t say without laughing my ass off.
Black Cock Down
Or WHEN HARRY MET HANNAH AND HER SISTERS
Also:
The Sperminator
Saving Ryan’s Privates
Genital Hospital
Harriet Squatter & The Sorcerer’s Bone (I made that one myself)
Harry Potter porn would be a other type of legal trouble…
I think you mean “Shaving Ryan’s Privates”.
Ah yes, “Shaving.” My bad, I deserve a spanking for that mistake. Speaking of spanking, has anyone seen “Citizen Cane?”
Satisfaction Jackson.
Also don’t forget “Dawson’s Crack”
And when I was a Kid, I remember someone telling me about an old one called “Yank my Doodle, it’s a Dandy”
Actually, “Yank” is better known in song parody by Dr. Dirty – John Valby.
Is’nt the multi-billion dollar porn industry all part of HOLLYWOOD anyway? One is soft-core, and the other is hard.
Todays HOLLYWOOD studios like Universal, are’nt exactly beacons of morality, and I guess you could argue flesh peddling has always been part of both industries. SEX sells, and its not much of a stretch to predict that the lawyers will surely cum to a compromise.
Is’nt there a $10 million “mainstream” movie called LOVELACE about to cum out?
Glad He Ate Her
Herculoin
A Few Hung Men
Forrest Hump
The Loin King
Leave It In Beaver
Asscrack Mountain
Isn’t is Shaving Ryan’s Privates?
Q: “What do writers do with their time when they want to avoid actual work?”
A: “They go to the comments section of Deadline and riff on porn titles.”
Did someone already do 50 Shapes of Grey’s Anatomy?
Lord of the G-strings
Missionary Impossible
James Bum
Bitanic
A Tale of Two Tities
Tits A Wonderful Life
American Booty
Raiders of the Lost Arse
Best. Deadline. Post. Ever.
In honor of this year:
Zero Dick Squirty
DjangBlow Unchained
Panty Linings Laybook
ArseGo
Ahhh… More
Breasts of the Heaving Wild
Lay Me, Rabble
Lick Colon
Life Of Bi
Thank you I’m here all week!
Poca-waitress.
This article and the comments are the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.
)) I laughed for 5 minutes after reading Splendor in the Ass.
Me too! I’m still laughing.
Shameful. Trying to make something filthy out of what i’m sure will be a merchant/ivoryesque classic!
This is my favorite Deadline piece EVER!!!
Deadline’s piece is the best you saw? EVER?!
Ohhh, wait, I see what you mean….
Man that was great. I just laughed harder than any Jim Carey (The Truman Blow) movie in the last 10-years or any shit-com currently on TV.
The Devil Wears Nada
If the major studios allowed as much creativity in their movies as the people on this thread have shown in their comments, we might have better pictures instead of the same tentpoles, remakes, retreads, reboots, and regurgitations.