Here is a transcript of Conan O’Brien’s opening monologue as well as the opening video at tonight’s premiere of his late-night show on TBS. The clip features dramatizations of Conan’s telling NBC brass to “go to hell” for trying to move him to 12:05 AM and of him taking TBS’ offer for “much less” as well as a Godfather spoof and scenes with Jon Hamm as Don Draper from Mad Men and Larry King as Conan’s guardian angel.
Thank you. Thank you and welcome to my 2nd Annual first show.
Yes, I know what you guys are thinking, “Hey, it’s the guy from Twitter.”
Welcome to my new show, “Conan.” People ask me why I named the show “Conan.” I did it so I’d be harder to replace.
This is an exciting night. I’m glad to be on cable. The truth is, I’ve dreamed of being a talk show host on basic cable ever since I was 46.
And things are going well already. I’m happy to report that we’re already #1 in TBS’s key demographic — people who can’t afford HBO.
I’m going to be honest: It’s not easy doing a late-night show on a channel without a lot of money and that viewers have trouble finding. So that’s why I left NBC.
But the weird thing is this: I put myself and my staff through a lot because I refused
Team Coco says 5 of “our most die-hardest-ever fans” are already camped out for standby tickets on Forest Lawn Drive outside the Warner Brothers lot in advance of Conan O’Bren coming back to late night television Monday at 11 PM ET/PT. “We popped over and took them some soda, granola bars, and these crazy giant TBS buttons that *laugh* when you squeeze them.” You’d think the TBS publicists could have at least collected a crowd:
Conan O’Brien got a solid pre-launch sampling with the 24-hour broadcast of the Live CoCo Cam from the offices of the comedian’s upcoming late-night show on TBS. According to preliminary estimates, some 660,000 viewers tuned in to check out the live stream at some point during the 24-hour window, which ended earlier today. For comparison, that is the average audience TBS gets in the 11 PM hour with George Lopez, so this should be a promising sign for Conan‘s debut on TBS on November 8. The average viewership at any time during the live CoCo Cam stream was 13,000, with thousands more watching the highlight clips on YouTube.
UPDATED: Conan‘s bookers may still be shooting for the Pope and Russian president Vladimir Putin for the first guest spot that is being determined by a fan poll but they went with Hollywood types for the rest of the appearances on the first week of the comedian’s late-night TBS show. Here is Conan‘s first guest lineup:
Monday, Nov. 8 – Guest poll winner (this could turn out to be a joke as the choices include the Pope Putin and the current leader, the elusive Jack Nicholson), Seth Rogen and musical guest Jack White
Tuesday, Nov. 9 – Tom Hanks, Jack McBrayer and musical guest Soundgarden
Wednesday, Nov. 10 – Jon Hamm, Charlyne Yi and musical guest Fistful of Mercy
Thursday, Nov. 11 – Michael Cera, Julie Bowen and comedian Jon Dore